Liveblogging Slumdog Millionaire

7.00 – Irfan Khan never acted so bad….
7.18 – cue the ‘Poverty in India’ scenes…
10.39 – I never remember any KBC host being such an a-hole to the contestants
11.04 – cue the sweet naive kid who dreams big (yawn)
11.25 – all poverty in India stories must have someone farting loudly, and talking about defecation – check.
13.48 – Crawling thru shit to meet amitabh bachchan – look ma, these natives are so savage!
16.14 – Irfan Khan just developed an Irish accent – as did Jamal (or is it Scottish? Sorry, Scotland/Ireland)

40.00 – M.I.A. on the soundtrack not helping – she’s Sri Lankan, not Indian. And a possible terrorist supporter to boot.
42.59 – Cue taj mahal to complete picture of exoticism.
43.00 – Where’d you get the english accent and language? And since when did Helga the European stoop to Child Labour?
43.41 – Har dee har har – clueless tourists being taken for a ride. Yawn.
47.22 – Cue contrasting scene of Rich vs Poor at some concert theatre thingy
48.32 – Why is Anil Kapoor trying to fake a fake English accent? His real fake accent is good enough, I would think…
50.09 – Who is on the US 100 dollar bill is NOT a million rupee question. Sheesh.
1.02 – Scene from D Company, and numerous other gangster movies superimposed. Young boy tells gangsters he’s killed their enemy.
1.02.49 – When 13 yr old kids talk about ‘destiny’ it gets annoying.
1.09.06 – When Scottish-Indian actor does a scottish accent – it’s not awesome, it’s ho hum….
1.09.50 – Why do all the Latikas live in Delhi, and use Reliance Landlines? 11-3XXX-XXXX phone numbers..
1.10.01 – Salim the chaiwala, now computer user, and FBI investigator…
1.14.42 – ‘I am at the centre of the centre’. Groan.
1.19.28 – He’s found Latika. And he’s the dishwasher. Giggle.
1.20.50 – Javed Bhai = lamest gangster(without a limp) to walk across my laptop screen.
1.21.44 – ‘And live on what?’ ‘Love’. HAHAHA. LOL
1.22.32 – Javed Bhai is upset that India is winning. What an unpatriotic gangster. Where’s Bal Thackeray when you need him…
1.22.59 – Sanjay Kapoor / Javed Bhai doesn’t like his sandwich. So he squeals like a little baby. Then mumbles something which sounded like ‘Rosebud’. Oh wait. Wrong movie.
1.26.53 – Note to all Bombaywalas – woman being molested in middle of VT and nobody lifts a finger – hmph.
1.27.24 – Jamal don’t give up hope. This is a car getting into Bombay traffic. You could probably walk up to it at the next light…WUSS!
1.28.47 – Anil Kapoor just said ‘It’s written’ while he was peeing. This means he’s pissed away the major plot point….
1.33.19 – Jamal is a crorepati. Yay.
1.35.16 – Ok, Anil, it’s your show… why did you help him cheat again?
1.35.44 – ‘You are not a liar because you are too truthful…’ WTF???
1.41.30 – Oh sure now there’s a traffic jam…..
1.41.43 – Ummm, there are people watching TV…inside the TAJ?
1.47.20 – Latika – you suck. You don’t know your musketeers…and stop using this phone line for personal calls you moron.
1.49.16 – Look ma, Irony. They’re both bathed in money. Get it?
1.50.38 – I won all this money, and yet I still missed my Virar local. Damn!
1.53.44 – I can swim thru shit, I can win KBC, but I still dance like a cow on skates…



  1. Pareshaan

    Dude, pleasantly surprised to see you back in action. I guess you are done with your MBA? Done with Down-under; back in Delhi? Wassappenin?

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