Of Horse Woman, and other trivial matters (I ripped off somebody’s blog name! The shame of it all I tell you!)Ok, so first off, I’ve been terribly sick with a cold for the past 3 days. Why? Because I haven’t bought new winter clothing since 2000. The connection? Well I only have two sweaters, and two sweatshirts. The sweaters make me look like a grandpa (they’re my dad’s), the sweatshirts make me look gay. So whenever I go out, I wear a shirt, with a T-shirt underneath and my gangster jacket (If I’m unshaven, I think it makes me look like a goonda). Thing is, that isn’t enough for Delhi weather these days, so I got an awful cold, and have been totally out of it.
Related to that point, is cold medicine. Cold medicine makes one drowsy. Along with the sleep come some of the most bizarre and intense dreams. Having taken the first dose of medicine after a trip to Turquoise Cottage, I dreamt about TC the whole goddam night. The only thing missing in that dream was a wild orgy. But that could be because I don’t remember all of it…. The next day I was re-reading Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead just because I can, and the dreams were full of people talking in those solemn mind-reading tones you find in those books.
I’m going blind.
NO, not because of masturbation, you freaks! Because my monitor is on the blink.
Here, take a look:
The image is squished. Can anybody tell me if 17″ monitors are available for around Rs. 4000 anywhere in South/Central Delhi? The sardarji we buy our computer stuff from tells me that a shitty 15″ comes for 4600, and I think he’s ripping me off. Looks like I’ll have to get my butt to Nehru Place soon…
The Return of HorseWoman.
Who is horsewoman? HorseWoman is a woman I met 2 years ago. She’s my mother’s cousin’s girlfriend’s daughter. I’m completely serious. Anyway, I met her, and I thought she was hot, but I was very much into my ex-girlfriend-who-wasn’t. Since there wasn’t much happening with my girlfriend-who-wasn’t, we decided to take a break. During that break, I called up horsewoman, and met up for coffee, because I wanted to show my girlfriend-who-wasn’t that she shouldn’t be taking me for granted. Biatch. Now horsewoman is very hot (tall and fit), but there are a few issues…if you haven’t guessed it yet…she’s obsessed with one thing, and one thing alone…Do I really need to mention what it is she’s obsessed with? And I mean obsessed. Her phone’s wallpaper has horses, the sms tone is a horse neigh, there are posters up in her room, and of course, she is an expert rider….ahem… the er… fact that she’s good at riding studs….is the part that appealed to TTG. (Plus the fact that horse-riding breaks hymens…so…..). Look, this is a male blog. This is how this male thinks. Get over it. Anyway, so we’re out for coffee, and we run out of things to talk about really quickly. Now TTG knows something about everything, so he usually mentions a buzzword here and there, and that gets the conversation flowing….but when it comes to horses…I had to give up. After asking idiot questions like “What kind of horses are native to India – did they originate in Arabia” and other such stuff, I had to quit. I almost reached a point of desperation and was about to ask her loudly in the middle of Barista: “CAN WE GO MAKE OUT NOW? We’ve talked for 30 minutes, that should at least equal a tentative first kiss?”. But I restrained myself. Anyway, to cut a long story short, me and horsewoman met once again, we went out to Steel with her friends, but Horsewoman is a decent woman who doesn’t drink, and she didn’t dance much, and she didn’t seem to want to make out either…so after Steel, I drive her back to her place…and instead of opening the door and getting out of the car…she’s sitting there waiting….awkward moment, because I’ve already decided that (yech)I’m still in love with my girlfriend-who-wasn’t and can’t really get myself to make any moves…so she’s waiting…and I had to just like say “OK, well BYE…” and then she opened the door and left. HorseWoman, I just want you to know it wasn’t your fault.
I think HorseWoman suspected I was psycho, because after that night, we never went out again, but she did call me over to her place a year later to do some psych tests for her project (her undergrad major was psych)…This must have been some form of revenge…(trust me, it wasn’t an attempt to seduce me).
Anyway, after that she disappeared, and we didn’t speak to each other again, until I figured I’d re-establish contact with her this September, in an attempt to get over my ex-girlfriend who wasn’t. So we finally go out for coffee today (after 3 months of phone-tag. She’s busy in IAS coaching classes, and playing games, clearly!)
She’s as hot as ever, and she no longer just talks about horses. She’s looking at a few potential men right now to get into a serious relationship with. I tried to convince her that you’re only young once, and flings are the way to go…but she didn’t seem to buy it. Sigh. And now I’m on my way to Melbourne.
I’ve just realized…that to this day, I have never asked HorseWoman what her last name is…or even when her birthday was/is….Just goes to show where my priorities lie…
Which brings me to my last point. I got my visa today. Yay. AUSTRALIA, HERE I COME!