FUQ-Us

The Meaning of Life (FUQ-Us)

Is 42, but I’d rather 69…ooh did I just say that out loud?

Ok so this is not a post about the meaning of life.

So, TTG, what is this post about then?

Well, lately many people have unasked me lots of questions, so I thought that I’d make up a list of Frequently Unasked QUestions…or FUQ-Us

You lame-ass bastard. Couldn’t you find a better joke to make?

No, Mysterious, Abusive Alter-Ego, I could not.

So get on with it then.

You’re in bold, so… you ask the questions…

Ok, Question 1: What the FuQ-U does your blog title mean anyhoo?

My blog title – Voice From A 2.5-World Country – is a shockingly clever attempt at highlighting the fact that India is no longer a 3rd-World country, but a 2.5-World Country. For some reason this title is too clever (or causes too much disbelief amongst the unwashed masses, ‘typists’ and “don’t-label-me-free-market-hater”s).

I started this blog in 2003, when “The India Story” was just beginning, and there was a lot of negative publicity about India, and severe lack of awareness in the country of my Alma Mater (Sam Uncle). Before setting up this blog, I used to have this circle of friends whom I used to e-mail – I would send them pictures of India which they would not find in the MSM. Pictures of the NOIDA toll bridge, a few malls, GK-1 M Block Market, The whole New Delhi Area (Raj Path, Rashtrapati Bhavan, e.t.c), and of course, pictures of me, complete with the rants. Unfortunately, some of the people I e-mailed were American, and they took offense at some of the things I said, and decided to Reply All to my e-mails, giving me a sound cursing (which was visible to my friends too). So I abandoned the e-mail idea… then when I read about this thingy called Blogging one day, I went to Blogger and set up an account (2003). But I realized I had nothing to say, because I was too busy dealing with a woman who I thought was my girlfriend-but-wasn’t. So the account lay idle for a year, and lack of sex (ok actually, it was the fact that Google was giving gmail accounts to active bloggers..) basically frustrated me enough to start writing in May 2004.

Anyway.. so this blog was meant to give you a “different” take on living in India.

“You take the average of 1st-World and 4th-World” blah blah

I didn’t ask for a whole treatise. Question 2: Are you gay? (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

No. Are you?

No. Question 3: What the F is up with your Alias, and that funny little logo thing?

In my dark past there are a lot of incidents. Some of them I have revealed over jugs of Alcohol, and others I have not. There was a particularly nasty incident involving me in my high-school days, which I will not recount (but will mention that it has something to do with the girls’ bathrooms), that left me with an Ironic Nickname. That nickname was Tarun (The Great). TTG. One day, when me and my friends were not busy making the art teacher cry by drawing boobies instead of pears (and getting -20 on blank pieces of paper), I was just doodling around, and came up with a way of putting TTG together. It was true art, I tell you! So that’s where the logo comes from. I’m sorry if you were expecting a better story. I don’t live to impress YOU, comprendo?

Uh-huh. Question 4: Why do you rant so much?

Why not? We all blog because there’s something lacking in our lives (or so I believe). It could be a Mercedes we’re missing, it could be a boyfriend/girlfriend, or, in my specific case, it could be a lack of people with ears which are strong enough to withstand my ranting, cursing, loud voice.

What do you have against Dilip D’Souza, Deesha.org and the other blogs on your former “Blogs I Dislike/Disagree With” list?

Nothing personal. I started out by blogging less, and commenting more. Commenting and flaming was fun, but it started losing its charm when people started remembering my name. It really lost its charm when they started ignoring my comments. So sulking, I I started posting more often (big mistake!).

Question 5: Why are you so obsessed with Anoushka Shankar?

a) I have nothing better to do
b) She is a ‘Famous Person’ and I was actually only one degree of separation from her
c) Actually, I am in love with Norah Jones (because of her voice, SEXY, DUH), and I figure I could use Anoushka to get to Norah…eventually…

Who is terah475?
I don’t know, but anybody who can write that many poems in my comments section needs to be mentioned.
What kind of a last name is “Pall” anyway? Why the double L?

Sigh. Long story. Pall is actually Pal. But ancient, inherited school-leaving certificates determine your name. So it’s Pall. Further, Pal is actually just the middle name of my long-gone Paternal Grandpa. I won’t reveal my last name, because that would reveal my caste. HA! And no, I am not even remotely Bengali.

Who is John Galt?
Find out for yourself…
Okay now lemme cheat and ask you an FAQ, instead of a FUQ-U. Is there something up with you and eM?

There is absolutely nothing up between me and eM. A really,really,really long post has been written on this…and it’s languishing as a draft, while I await my visa. Once I’ve skipped town, the whole story will out (don’t get so excited, it’s not half as interesting as you think).

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