Road Rage

Ok, the title says that because I wanted to spew as many cuss words as I could

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

One has to wonder what the other half of humanity uses for a brain. Other half, in this sentence is defined as those people who disagree with me. :-p

Roads only benefit Rich People

I am literally shocked at the number of times I have seen people (who I assume know how to read and write) say the above bolded sentence. I just cannot get my optimistic self to believe that people with an education can say such a thing. But it does also explain why the world is the way it is.

I would think that the benefit of roads would be obvious, and that’s why it’s taken as given, and requires no explaining, but apparently it does. So either I’m a fucking prodigy to whom the following scenarios come naturally, or there are a lot of people doing an injustice to humainty by claiming to be members of it!

How investing in roads & highways benefit poor people

When I say investing in roads, I don’t mean laying some tar from point A to point B. I refer to the whole Government program of creating a Golden Quadrilateral, the NHDP, highways, flyovers e.t.c.

Ok
1) It provides low-income people with jobs.
Scenario 1: There are no roads in India. Poor people sit on their thumbs (and starve to death).
Scenario 2: They help out in the building of a grand highway. This could mean they actually work on the road itself (clear rubble, lay the bitumen, help level the land, feed other people who are working on the road, be employed as sweepers once the road is construct). This puts money in their pocket. They use this money to eat/sleep/survive.

2) It saves lives.
Scenario 1: Let’s give every shitty village in the country money to make a hospital, and not focus on building roads at all. Result: out of 40,000 villages 12 actually use the money to make hospitals. The others find that the money never reached them (or went as far as the Village panchayat, which miraculously manages to afford BMWs, with none of the villagers being any wiser). Out of the 12 hospitals that are made, 8 aren’t used at all, because nobody was really monitoring their construction, so they’re simply rotting corpses. That leaves 4. Out of those 4, 2 operate at slightly substandard conditions, because all of the fresh, bright-eyed young doctors don’t want to waste their lives in the middle of a godforsaken village, so you get the dregs working in those hospitals. That leaves 2 hospitals. One of them gets a young bright-eyed doctor with a positive approach and leftist leanings, and is successful enough to get a brief mention in the New York Times and the BBC, detailing the young Doctor’s ideals and how he studied in Johns Hopkins but came to back to make a contribution to his country. The last and final hospital is run by a Western European who has decided that since his country has spent the last 800 years plundering the darkies, he has the right to come back to their land and patronise them, all the while lecturing on the beauties of Socialism, explaining that is what made his country rich. When idiots like TTG point out that maybe plundering the darkies made him rich, not Socialism, TTG is instantly shut up by Macualay’s bastard brown children, all the while profusely apologising to pompous arrgoant european fuckhead.
When a person in one of the non-hospitalized villages gets sick, s/he gets loaded on to a bullock which trundles along on a dirt track, eventually leading to poor villager’s death. TTG never hears of it. Left-leaning blogger gets inspired to write an emotional article on the village which is called KahinBhiNahinPur, highlighting little details like the children’s smiles and how “Baa” was such a sweet quaint old lady, killed by the ineptitude of India. The article gets published in a newspaper.

Scenario 1a
KahinBhiNahinPur gets hit by a tsunami. There are no roads connecting KahinBhiNahinPur except for the dirt track, which also got washed away by the tsunami. No hlpe reaches KahinBhiNahinPur in time. People die. TTG never hears of it. Left-leaning blogger gets inspired to write an emotional article on the village which is called KahinBhiNahinPur, highlighting little details like the children’s smiles, and discarded buscuit wrappers and how “Baa” was such a sweet quaint old lady, killed by the ineptitude of India. The article gets published in a newspaper, and then Arundhati goes and writes a book on how Cellphones used by Punjabi men named Honey and Pinky have brought about Baa’s death.

Scenario 2: You spend money connecting all of India up with very very good roads, and spend money setting up hospitals in Small-medium towns with some semblance of infrastructure which attracts doctors/nurses and other people who don’t have to take shits out in the open. When person in village A gets sick, they call out an Ambulance which goes speeding down a newly constructed highway (almost getting run over by 3 cows and 8 trucks) and manages to get the villager to a hospital in time.

Tsunami hits KahinBhiNahinPur. Relief reaches it very fast, on the Toll Road which is making an exception in this case to allow emergency traffic to get to KahinBhiNahinpur for free, using the high-quality roads which did not get washed away by the tsunami.

3) It provides low-income people with jobs.
Wait didn’t I just mention that above. I guess this needs to be hammered in. Scenario 1
KahinBhiNahinPur is a village of farmers. They grow vegetables. They figure they could make money selling these vegetables. They make more vegetables than they consume. The nearest big market of vegetables is New Delhi, with a population of 14 million, and fat pockets. But there’s no way of getting those vegetables to New Delhi. Because there is no road connecting to KahinBhiNahinPur to New Delhi. And what vegetables do attempt to make it to Delhi get eaten by the bullock that pulls the cart that holds the vegetables. The villagers commit suicide, and Chandrababu NoDo gets kicked out of office, because he wasn’t doing anything to “help the poor”, he was just concerned with building highways for rich mercedes drivers. Won’t someone PLEASE THINK OF THE COMMON MAN. (After all, what good is a road when you’re NOT MAKING ENOUGH MONEY TO FEED YOURSELF, FOR FUCK’S SAKE).

Scenario 2.
There is a road connecting New Delhi to KahinBhiNahinPur. The villagers sell vegetables to Rude/Crude Delhi-ites. In Rude/Crude Delhi, some unfit, but good-looking, Software engineers get a pay rise. They get married. They buy more vegetables. The villagers in KahinBhiNahinPur sell more vegetables so they make more money…….WAIT….NOOOOOOOO…..THIS IS THE TRICKLE-DOWN EFFECT. We all know this is just an article of faith. It couldn’t possibly be the outcome of REASON!

4) It provides low-income people with jobs.
Wait didn’t I just mention that above. I guess this needs to be hammered in.

Scenario 1
There is a dirt track connecting KahinBhiNahinPur to New Delhi. It is graced by a convoy of VIP ambassador cars and police gypsies once every four years.

Scenario 2
There is a national highway built by a private (i.e. greedy multinational) company running very close to KahinBhiNahinPur, which actually dared to suggest to the government that it wanted to make a profit on it, instead of doing something for the Common Man. Lots of trucks, buses and cars pass by KahinBhiNahinPur. KahinBhiNahinPur resident Ramu (or Sita, I’m no chauvinist!) is good at making Parathas. Ramu sets up Monty da Dhaba on the national highway, close to his home town and starts making money. 15 dhabas, 1 McDonald’s and 3 petrol stations come up to cater to the traffic on the Highway. The McDonald’s, being an evil greedy multinational hires every single one of their employees from America, even the beggars outside it. They import everything, the toilet paper, the dirt, the cement, the electricity even! The surrounding neighbourhood does not benefit at all. How after all, does letting McDonald’s into India benefit the COMMON MAN. HOW? I just don’t get it. The Petrol stations also refuse to hire anybody from the local village. They ship slaves from Africa to man their Bharatiya petrol pumps.

5) It provides low-income people with jobs.
Wait didn’t I just mention that above. I guess this needs to be hammered in.

Scenario 1
There is a dirt track connecting KahinBhiNahinPur to New Delhi. It is graced by a convoy of VIP ambassador cars and police gypsies once every four years.

Scenario 2
There is a national highway built by a private (i.e. greedy multinational) company running very close to KahinBhiNahinPur, which actually dared to suggest to the government that it wanted to make a profit on it, instead of doing something for the Common Man. NotATattu Automobiles, a big multinational corporation making cars, notices that plump software engineers in New Delhi now have enough money to buy their cars. They also realize it’s cheaper to assemble/manufacture cars in India rather than import them. They are looking for a place set up a factory. Since land in Delhi is expensive, they have to build their factory outside it, but nearby. They have two sites in mind. KahinToHaiPur, which looks and feels like hell, and KahinBhiNahinPur, which also looks and feels like hell, but has a highway running near it, built by the ex-Chief Minister Chandrababu NoDo who got kicked out for not helping the Common Man.
They decide to locate their factory in KahinBhiNahinPur…OH NO. The TRCIKLE DOWN EFFECT AGAIN? BUT BUT WE ALL KNOW IT DOESN’T EXIST! Rich software engineers cause villagers in KahinBhiNahinPur to also make money? How can this be? People of the village get jobs in the factory, and since they had no jobs before, they are willing to work at low rates. Arundhati Roy writes an article on how greedy multinationals exploit workers with low rates, and how they deserve to kicked out, so that the villagers can go back to teaching the village idiot to dig holes in the ground.

*takes deep breath*
Rinse, lather and repeat, with Electricity and other rich people’s toys….

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