Voice From A 2.5-World Country

Where I am

About 20 months ago, I walked out of my my old company, happy to be free at last from the drudgery of IT work, and off to do an MBA in the land Down Under. But here I am. Back at the very place I left, in a slightly higher role, responsible for managing 5 frustrated software engineers, a few of which are older than me too…but the same company all the same. Things have changed of course, the company’s CEO is attempting to turn things around and the company has an “Employees First” motto. On the day of joining, we were subjected to clips from a 3 hour DVD, with CEO spilling his guts to us. Lots of MBA-Speak, and I was left wondering if the software engineers in the group spotted it for what it was. There are DEFINITELY more women being hired. It almost looks like it’s a 50-50 ratio. They’ve even put up a matrimonials site on the Intranet. But many things haven’t changed. I joined the company on Thursday. Today is Tuesday. I don’t have a login id for my computer. I don’t have a company ID. I don’t have an employee code. Basically, here I am sitting at my desk, using ‘valuable’ company resources and time, typing out on a blog, because I can’t function in any constructive way at work. I can’t check my company mail, run any of the stuff I need to get my new job done. So here I am.

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This one’s for Scout & RTD2

Side Note to anybody from MBS who is reading this: No, I’m not in love with her.

So since it was my birthday last week, I threw a party. Now I hate throwing parties, but Bombay Boy forced me into it, saying something about freeloading off other people and their parties, and not throwing one in return.

So the highlights of the party included lots of debauchery. A certain woman walked in and announced loudly to everybody that she broke up with her boyfriend, to anyone who would listen. <SARCASM>I wonder what she was trying to achieve by that admission</SARCASM> . She walked away with a partner towards the end of the night…

The French Finesser decided to avenge the mess I made outside his apartment last week. His bathroom was taken, and I was awfully drunk, so I tried to make it to the elevator, and failed, so threw up right outside his doorstep - hey at least it was outside. But he still had to clean it up, so he was pissed off. So when I threw my party, he walked into the bedroom, and threw beer all over my bed while I was otherwise occupied, the son of a bitch.

I attempted to smoke my first cigar along with my Birthday Twin (the Balinese Beauty), which we received as a joint present.

The Sexy Singaporean was drunk, and throwing herself at every man. And the irony of it, the day she was finally throwing herself at me, I had to resist her, because of my decision (see below).

I got twenty-f-ing-seven birthday bumps. Ouch. My back hurts.

Ok enough rambling, it is also after this debauch party, which will go down in history for a lot of people, that I discovered a woman who comes close to being my perfect lover. I would not have thought that such a woman could exist. But she does:

1)She shouldn’t be too thin, nor too fat. Just a teency-weency bit on the plump side.

2)Her birthday should be on the same date as me, so that I never have to remember it.

3)She should have no qualms about calling me up, asking me to dinner, and then picking me up in her current boyfriend’s Toyota Camry.
4)She forgives ..ahem..’poor performance’ with the following quote:

In my experience, it takes three trials & three errors to know a woman’s body

(It was the first try).

5)She appreciates that you don’t get something for nothing, so in exchange for being helped with her Stats homework, she sends porn, without being asked to.

6)She’s blunt and forward enough to say: My boyfriend is out. I’m alone. Come over.

7)That she’d rather spend the cold winter day half naked under covers, than doing anything remotely constructive.

I never realized how fun much it is, to be ‘The Other Guy’.

Oh and on an unrelated, self-promotional note, there’s this post (Sniff, sniff, sniff)