This one’s for Scout & RTD2
Side Note to anybody from MBS who is reading this: No, I’m not in love with her.
So since it was my birthday last week, I threw a party. Now I hate throwing parties, but Bombay Boy forced me into it, saying something about freeloading off other people and their parties, and not throwing one in return.
So the highlights of the party included lots of debauchery. A certain woman walked in and announced loudly to everybody that she broke up with her boyfriend, to anyone who would listen. <SARCASM>I wonder what she was trying to achieve by that admission</SARCASM> . She walked away with a partner towards the end of the night…
The French Finesser decided to avenge the mess I made outside his apartment last week. His bathroom was taken, and I was awfully drunk, so I tried to make it to the elevator, and failed, so threw up right outside his doorstep – hey at least it was outside. But he still had to clean it up, so he was pissed off. So when I threw my party, he walked into the bedroom, and threw beer all over my bed while I was otherwise occupied, the son of a bitch.
I attempted to smoke my first cigar along with my Birthday Twin (the Balinese Beauty), which we received as a joint present.
The Sexy Singaporean was drunk, and throwing herself at every man. And the irony of it, the day she was finally throwing herself at me, I had to resist her, because of my decision (see below).
I got twenty-f-ing-seven birthday bumps. Ouch. My back hurts.
Ok enough rambling, it is also after this debauch party, which will go down in history for a lot of people, that I discovered a woman who comes close to being my perfect lover. I would not have thought that such a woman could exist. But she does:
1)She shouldn’t be too thin, nor too fat. Just a teency-weency bit on the plump side.
2)Her birthday should be on the same date as me, so that I never have to remember it.
3)She should have no qualms about calling me up, asking me to dinner, and then picking me up in her current boyfriend’s Toyota Camry.
4)She forgives ..ahem..’poor performance’ with the following quote:
In my experience, it takes three trials & three errors to know a woman’s body
(It was the first try).
5)She appreciates that you don’t get something for nothing, so in exchange for being helped with her Stats homework, she sends porn, without being asked to.
6)She’s blunt and forward enough to say: My boyfriend is out. I’m alone. Come over.
7)That she’d rather spend the cold winter day half naked under covers, than doing anything remotely constructive.
I never realized how fun much it is, to be ‘The Other Guy’.
Oh and on an unrelated, self-promotional note, there’s this post (Sniff, sniff, sniff)
…well it’s on its way to being crossed out…
