A Good-News Update

802.11g Among The Suticases and The Stench
So New Delhi Airport has gone Wi-Fi, like other airports across the world. Now all we need is a World-Class airport, as well World-Cass Wi-Fi….someday, when a non-Congress government is in power, we will have that World-Class airport…

Triumph Of Democracy(Not that anyone cares)
The mostly-male parliament of Jammu & Kasmir proposed a ‘Women’s Bill’. This bill stated (among other idiocies), that Kashmiri women lose all rights to property within the State of Jammu & Kashmir, if they marry a non-resident of the state/non-Kasmiri. Their reason for doing so wasn’t entirely chauvinistic. Because some idiots decided to alienate J & K from the rest of the Union of India, the Indian Government passed a few laws in the 1950s which stated no non-Kashmiri can hold land in Kashmir. This means that a lot of Rich North Indians, who have the money and power to transform what is an impoverished state into something livable, can do nothing but sit pretty. And in the meantime, all those impoverished unemployed Kashmiri youths can go about murdering the Indian army soldiers, with Pakistani-supplied Kalshnikovs. Anyway, one way to circumvent that rule was to allow Kashmiris to marry non-Kasmiris, and then rule could be partly subverted. So taking note of this fact, the Kashmiri Legislature decided to create the women’s bill. However, after being exposed to a lot of negative media coverage, this bill has been mercifully consigned to the Dust Bin. Look for all the info here and here

The ‘Silver’ Lining
Ok so although we walk out of the Olympics with only one silver for 1 billion people, it wasn’t all that bad. In many events that Indians were competing in, they broke all National Records, and ended up finishing 6th/7th. These means that 2nd & 3rd aren’t that far away, really. As far as this voice has been alive, this the best showing India has had in the Olympics (i.e. the 80s, 90s and 00s)

Till next time, this voice is Silent….

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A Neat Little Parlour Trick

Yes, India has contributed more to maths than just the concept of 0 and the Decimal Number System

So there’s a bunch of really ancient Hindu scriptures known as the Vedas of which the oldest is the Rig-Veda one of foundations of Hinduism – open to lots and lots and lots of debate as it is apparently approximately 3500 years old….
Anyway, one of them apparently has a section on Maths… I was taught some of the stuff they call Vedic Mathematics in preparation for the entrance test for Indian Institute of Management. Anyway, I list below one of its secrets, for easy reference, which shall be updated, as when all of it comes back to me.

How to find the square of all numbers from 1 – 100

Ok so the square of numbers from 1-thru 13 most people have memorized, so I won’t mention them.
The square of all multiples of 10 (i.e. 10, 20, 30, 40) are easy to determine, so they don’t need to be covered either.

So here’s the neat trick. Vedic Mathematics gives you a cool way to figure out the square of any number ending in 5 (5, 15, 25, 35, e.t.c.).

Ok so let’s take the square of 95.
Every number that ends in 5, has a square that ends in 25.
So we know that the LAST TWO digits of 95-squared are 25.

How about the rest?
Well you take the digit(s) to left of the 5 (In this case 9) and multiply them by the next integer.
The only digit to the left of 5 is 9 in 95, so you multiply 9 by 9+1(10) to get 90.
Place the 90 to the left of 25 and you have your answer.

95 x 95 = 9025

Don’t believe me? Let’s try 65.
Last two digits of 65-squared are 25.
The rest of the result is found by multiplying 6 and 7(6+1) = 42

65 x 65 = 4225

The square of 105?
11025 (again, last digits are 25, and 10 x 11 gives u everything to the left)

Ok so great. Now we’ve got all the squares of multiples of 5, 10, and everything from 1 thru 13. Now to fill in the gaps. Here’s the final magic formula, which u may already know from your regualr algebra classes.

x+1 squared is = x squared + 2x + 1.

So that means that 36-squared is = 1225 + 71 = 1296
37-squared = 1296 + 73 = 1369
39-squared = 1600 – 40-39 = 1521 (going backwards from 40-squared, coz it’s easier)

and so on.

Well that ends the show for today. I’ve just touched very briefly on the subject there are lots of more interesting things you can do with Vedic Maths
So go on and wow your friends, show them that you’re secretly a math prodigy. :-p

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More Monsoon Babblings

 Slow Week
So now that Delhi is finally getting its share of rain, the UPA government is relaxing a little. But of course, all of Delhi is suffering. Granted, the monsoon brings us our yearly supply of water, but also gives rise to the Annual Supreme Traffic Jam. But this jam only takes place on one particular day every year, because there is usually only one day in the year when Delhi gets 24-hours-worth of rain.A Powerful Woman
According to Forbes Magazine Sonia Gandhi is considered to be the 3rd most powerful woman in the world…. not bad for a broke Italian student learning to speak English in Cambridge….

1 in a Billion, Again
So Major Rajyavendra Rathore gets a Silver Medal in the Olympics. And everybody else is now either disqualified due to doping/stupidity or just didn’t make the cut.

Social Security?
The outgoing NDA government had decided to issue National Social Security Cards anybody who has a job, and contributes to the Provident Fund (Sort of like the 401(k) in America). So now Indians will have Social Security numbers too…

Bollydelphia
Bollywood is finally getting the balls to tackle AIDS, with a new movie called Phir Milenge (We’ll Meet Again). Apparently the story is about a woman professional who contracts HIV from her hubby, and her struggle with the prejudices at work and in society in general. You can count on Bollywood to play up stereotypes and handle sensitive issues with sledghammers, so I doubt this movie will amount to much…but the UN is actually endorsing it!!!?!?!

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The New Orientalism – Pt 2

Ok, so having taken the last week or so to cool off, and re-compose my thoughts, offer a half-apology to the author coupled with an invitation to coffee it’s time to post a reply to the reply to my ‘attack’ on Aziz’s blog (the URL for which can be found in my previous post, or on Blogger.com as a Blog of Note, at least at the time of going to Press).
First of all, to be fair, my critique was a bit too personal. It shouldn’t have been, because there are probably at least a million such stories floating out there, and this just happens to be the (un)lucky one which got noticed – appearing in the “Blogs of Note” section, which this Voice happens to visit every once in a while to escape the drudgery of outsourced computer programming.
So here is my reply:

Although I was excited to see my ancestral homeland of Kutch (Gujarat), my primary motivation to come to India was to explore and experience India, gain some understanding of the plight of India�s more than 300,000,000 poor people and get some work experience with an NGO (non-government organization).

The part of this that bothers me is that “Gain Some Understanding of the plight of more than 300 million poor people living in India”. My problem with this is just that. By your figure there are 300 million people who are defined as “poor”. What does that mean? Are they starving? Lacking a roof over their heads? They can’t afford a TV? All? And once we’ve decided what poor means, are we really going to apply this blanket term to 300 Million people, who speak different languages, have different religions, customs, cusines? You say you want to understand the plight of these 300 Million people. I’m just wondering why the remaining 700 Million people hold no fascination for you. Or the fact that we went from having 500 Million poor people 57 years ago, when our young nation was born to 300 Million today. Why do those 200 Million people who struggled their way upwards hold no interest to you? And how many people need to be lifted out of poverty for somebody to be able to visit India to gain an insight for reasons other than the plight of its X number of poor people?

Yes, you made your purpose and intent clear in your reply, and maybe I should just leave you alone and move on. But you see, Blogger.com has decided that you’ve written something noteworthy. And the fact is that although most of us blog for ourselves, I think we all know that someone, somewhere will be reading. So again, I’m just curious why the remaining 700 million (by your figures) Indians don’t hold any interest for you…

My posts focus on poor rural areas because I am working for an NGO that seeks to improve the livelihoods of poor, rural Indians. I came to India to work with poor people and I spent much of my time surrounded by poor people, so it follows naturally that my blog speaks at length of the problems of rural India

This would have been a fair point, until you mentioned the sweeping generalisations about Pasta and the News channels, among other things. Surely that’s not Rural India you’re talking about… (yes, that still rankles. How widespread are samosas out in the ‘boonies’ of NewFoundland).

In your sharp criticism of my blog, you seem to have bitten into an apple and yelled, “THIS IS THE WORST TOMATO I’VE EVER TASTED!”.

Nope, it was more like, DANGNABBIT, another tomato posing as an apple! @!#@@!@!!!!!

Tarun, I think you are wrong to think that one has to plunge oneself into the most backward pasts of your country to find poverty–it stares me in the face in Ahmedabad, and its surrounds me whever I travel in rural areas.

Ok first off, I have never stated you only find poverty in the most backward parts. However as stated in one of my previous blogs, there is The Filth Factor. Which means that even in the parts of the city/country that are rich/well off, things look like they’ve just been bombed out of existence by a Pakistani fighter swarm, coupled with the fresh smell of a mass urination. There are many reasons for this, which I may go into at some later date. But the fact is that, being a newcomer to this country, you confuse filth/laxity/apathy/anarchy with poverty. And those attributes aren’t always connected.

The vast majority of your countrymen cannot afford to eat at the Olive Bar and Kitchen.

The reason that Olive Bar & Kitchen was mentioned was in response to the statement – “They must not know what Pasta is in India”. The answer is that quite a significant number of people do. But I fail to see how Pasta-awareness is an indicator of a high-standard of living.

I wouldn’t presume to guess your background as you have mine, but I think you should get out to some villages, meet some poor people, play with their kids and understand their problems–you’ll appreciate the beautiful restaurants of Delhi that much more, and you’ll find yourself angry the next time you read about “India Shining”.

I have been out to villages. I have driven from New Delhi to Chandigarh while National Highway 1 was under construction for wideneing an repaving. We had to detour through at least 3 villages on our way to Ambala. I have also driven to Ludhiana and Patiala and stopped in many places in between. Unfortunately, these are villages of Punjab and Haryana. According to a recent edition of India Today, Punjab is the richest state in the Union. So basically, the fact that the people in the villages of Punjab and Haryana have raised their standard of living means that they won’t fall under your 300 million poor people, or in anybody else’s definition. They will basically drop off the map until they either get poor enough to starve, and thus merit a “juicy” blog entry, or when the level of prejudice (i.e. low-caste killings, murder of girl childs e.t.c) rises to a newsworthy threshold.
And I don’t find myself angry about India Shining, but I don’t blame you for it. This is your first trip to India. So you have nothing to compare it to. But I have a lot of timeslices to compare – 1983-89, 1991-97, 2002-today. And I can confidently say that as a 57-year-old nation India is at its brightest now. Of course, the light is still dim. But it will grow brighter, and much, much faster than you think.

(The offer for coffee is still valid, btw)

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Monsoon Babbling

2.5 World Country Weather (for the Newbie)
Seattle is apparently the most depressing city in the world, with the highest (recorded) suicide rate. One of the reasons attributed to this is the weather. To quote most Seattle-ites – “This Year’s weather will be overcast, with light showers (except on the 4th of July)”. Slight exaggeration, but not off by too much. ‘Cept for one or two summer months when you get to see how beautiful Seattle is – There is the Puget Sound in one direction, tall shiny glass buildings in other, the Glorious Grand & Dormant Mount Rainier to the South, and…more buildings and civilisation to the North. Anyhoo it’s really good looking, ‘cept when it’s raining when all is mostly grey and gloomy…..

Approximately halfway across the world lies a pointy/peninsular landmass, which was once a part of Africa some gazillions of years ago. Eventually this land mass broke away, and hit Asia pretty hard. Real hard. Thus the Himalayas were born. Apart from acting as a natural barrier to prevent China from invading India, they also contribute to an annual event which most Indians anticipate anxiously. Having the Tallest Wall in the World to your North, 2 seas, 1 ocean to the South, and some mostly-flat plains in the middle gives rise to the Indian Monsoon. Loosely translated as “Our Water Supply for the Year”. But take pity on a 2000/5000 year old northern city by a river. Everytime March-June rolls around, the inhabitants of this ancient city (Delhi) curse their ancestors and wonder why the $!@#!$$!@#!$@ they had to pick this particular area to settle down in. It may have been nice and comfy 5000 years ago, but these days the Great Indian Desert makes its presence felt in Delhi by sending a few dust storms and hot winds (known as The Loo for some reason) in our direction….these storms are further compounded by temperatures ranging from 45-47 degrees Celcius*. This carries on for a while, and in the meantime, the newspapers decide to rub it in by mentioning how Aqua-Bangladesh is 50% submerged, and there are floods in other parts of the country. All Delhi gets is a thickening of the air, as the humidity rises to an unbearable 90%. Finally, once everything is covered in a layer of dust (or melted due to heat), a huge dark cloud approaches (much like it does in the ‘Ghananana’ song in Lagaan). Then cool winds start blowing and the first drop of Monsoon devastation strikes. Pit pit, pat pat, pit………KABLAAM! KAPOW! And before you know it, you’re going for a swim on the Ring Road. Travel times rise. The 25 Kilometre stretch of MG Road* which connects 5000-year-old Delhi to wannabe 2-Year-New Gurgaon takes 4 hours instead of the usual one. New potholes arise, to replace the old one which were patched up pre-election. The government-run telephone company’s phone lines go bust allowing the pvt-run companies to advertise how reliable their services are. Old trees that couldn’t handle the heat finally collapse and close up a few roads, taking a few power lines with them. Kids run onto to the rooftops, for an impromptu bath, and also to start their kite-flying practise for Independence Day

But most important – Everybody’s spirits rise with the rain.

*The MG in MG Road, doesn’t stand for Mahatma Gandhi, like other various MG Roads throughout the company. Becuase this is New Delhi, the MG stands for Mehrauli-Gurgaon Road. Mehrauli being another ancient semi-city left over from Mughal times, which is now a part of Delhi….

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The New Orientalism…(sigh)

SIGH
*Cringe*….*double cringe*…ok so having not blogged for while due to various reasons, I was scouting around blogger.com only to find a “blog of note” called Aziz’s Blog. As much as it pisses me off to generate more traffic for Mr. Aziz, I have no option but to do so, as Mr Aziz’s travels are the reason for writing Voice From A 2.5 World Country….
(Mr.) Aziz happens to be somebody of type ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) – NOTE I say TYPE, because Mr. Aziz is actually a Canadian (CBCD?) , and although he may not be born in Canada, he definitely has all the markings of the -BCD type. So Mr. Aziz is blogging from his trip to India. SO what do you do when you go to India? Well as anybody familiar with Orientalism would know, you would find yourself the most godforsaken part of the country, go there, work for an NGO, and then report that this is what all of India must be like. It’s just great.

There are lovely snippets from his blog like: “They must not have pasta in India”….I am sure that the Olive Bar & Kitchen, Diva, La Piazza, Big Chill, Flavours, Italiano, San Gimigiano, Trattoria and a host of other restaurants which dish out really good non-Indianised Italian food will be pretty surprised to hear that, as am I.

Then a whole bunch of other observations, which are broad,sweeping, moronic.

“Delhi is a very polluted city” (He says this, and then he heads out to Jaipur). Unfortunately, I don’t have the statistics URL on hand right now, but Delhi is now one of the LEAST polluted cities in India. It has a lot to do with something called CNG which Mr. Aziz is not familiar with. He should look it up, since he seems to be making an effort to “report” about India. Another interesting comment is about why India is “isolated” from the rest of the world. It is because our news channels (he takes the example of NDTV) are totally inward-focussed…This is just such a load of bullshit it’s hilarious. I don’t know how “global” the Canadian TV channels are, but having experienced American news first-hand, I can say that our News Channels are lot more “global” than America….

Then Mr. Aziz goes on to say that we are so “proud” of the fact that we are a democracy, we don’t stop to analyse anything, because we are so busy being proud…apparently it’s alright for the Western world to trumpet the causes of freedom, democracy human rights, but when us brownies revel in the fact that we are democracy (as opposed to a failed state, like countless other former colonies of different empires), we should shut up, because there are still people starving, still people peeing on the roads, and still people murdering other people. We are not allowed to value our right to criticize, or our right to peacefully remove a government from power to replace it with a new one, oh no. Thank you Mr. Aziz.

It is this person’s account of India, and all of those people before him that force me to carry on my crusade…..If you go to this person’s blog, you will see the standard picture of India that is presented to you time and again. Lots of poor hungry starving people on display. Dirt. Stories of cows and pigs. Complaints about spicy food. Condescending stories about the “natives”. All the regular stuff. Basically, Mr. Aziz fell for the Filth Factor. And of course, because said blogger needs a little re-inforcement, he seems to be sticking to all our regular loved Indian authors (Naipaul, Roy, Seth, Mistry ) – the ones that refuse to write about 21st Century India. They all have to pick 1947, or some other time of misery to write about, otherwise how else will they get noticed and awarded those lovely prizes? They can’t possibly write about Happy Indians, God Forbid. Or something Good happening in India. Maybe Mr. Aziz does what he does with full knowledge, maybe not, but he plays right into the hands of the same maliciousness that has been going on since the first Western European set foot on a “foreign” shore. The standard example of assuming that even in a country of one billion people and sub-continental land-mass, the author’s experience must the genuine standard one-size-fits-all experience of India, and no other version could be true.

I’m not going to ramble about everything positive that is happening in India. Because the standard Western refrain about India runs as follows. “In India <insert positive development here> but there are lots of poor people and everybody is dying, so this small positive development means nothing”.

I guess the only way to counter posts of hungry, starving people, is with pictures of people who aren’t, followed up with pictures of a non-filthy side of India….(a tactic which has been used by yours truly before starting to blog…) .

It is sad when people with Indian origins/roots decide to depict India in this manner. They are after all the people who will “Market” India to the rest of the World. And this is what they choose to show.

But of course, this is also the type of stuff that gets you noticed. If said blogger had something good to say about India, he’d probably not have made it to the Blogs of Note list. Just like Arundhati Roy would not have got her award if she wrote the story of a middle-class Indian studying hard, getting a job as a Software Engineer, and earning more money than his family had seen in a generation. Or even Rohinton Mistry, who decided to show India as it existed under Indira Gandhi’s Emergency. Would he have gotten a place on Oprah’s show if he’d said something about how India is only a 57-year old country, and progressing fast? Nope. Better to tell a story about a bunch of poor people, who have to beg for a living, and some others who commit suicide, get divorced, oh and there’s a nice castration and caste war to boot.

Mr. Aziz is looking for a book deal. He will probably get it, as he’s playing right into the hands of the publishers. Best of luck to you sir.

Thank God for blogging.